Throughout
this journey I have met many teachers, tried many practices, gained
a rich understanding of eastern spiritual traditions and modern transpersonal
psychology, and enjoyed many of the phenomena common to mystical and
kundalini experience. As Zen teachers like to say, if you sit and face
a wall long enough something is bound to happen. I found at a certain
point that I could close my door on the world and enjoy wonderful inner
experiences, but still it seemed that something was missing. I knew
this was not really freedom, although it had opened me to a wider range
of consciousness than I knew before I learned to meditate, and it had
changed my life for the better in many ways. It had opened me to energy
and bliss, freed me from self-consciousness, and given me faith in a
foundation greater than myself.
As my inner life deepened my outer world graciously opened and I found
I could bring my professional life together with my personal commitment
to spiritual growth, and I became a therapist, educator, and writer
in the field of spiritual emergence. I published a book about the transformational
energies of kundalini, and was blessed to meet many people around the
world who shared this interest. Some of us founded an organization,
called the Kundalini Research Network, to bring together our discoveries
and share them with others. I was deeply involved in this work for almost
ten years. And still I knew there was something that was not complete.
In 1999 I met a young American man called Adyashanti,
who had recently begun to teach after having a profound awakening in
the Zen tradition. I had done Zen practices (learned from books) occasionally
over the years, and found they sometimes brought a shift of perspective,
but I had never followed a formal practice. I decided to do a ten-day
silent retreat with Adya at a beautiful Buddhist center called Vajrapani
in the Santa Cruz mountains. In the silence of this space and the openness
to his transmission of pure awakeness something new opened in me, and
I saw clearly for the first time my true nature, which was always present
and always had been. This was a movement of consciousness that brought
me powerfully outside of my personal identity, and ended my attachment
to and seeking of any further spiritual or mystical experiences. In
the clarity of this experience I saw that I and all others emerge from
One creative consciousness, and knew that this same consciousness moves
through our lives having our experiences.
After being saturated with this understanding I began to learn how to
live from a new place in myself, and particularly exploring the possibility
of being this presence in each moment. Of course there have been set-backs,
there have been moments when old patterns tangled me up for awhile,
but there has also been growth and change and more insights and openings.
I have returned to my ordinary life, with much less attachment and paradoxically,
more engagement. I am learning to follow what arises the way a river
makes its way when a path is opened.
After a few years Adya invited me to share the dharma, perhaps because
he knew I had a passion to do this. So now I meet with people to speak
whatever arises in the moment about awakening, and to teach what I call
an embodied meditation, because I think that sitting as presence in
this moment, with no argument with what arises, is a great way to meet
your true Self, and to learn how to live as That once it is discovered.
I cannot claim to be a great Buddhist, or a yogi, or a great mystic.
I am spirit living as an ordinary person who has played the roles of
mother, grandmother, wife, teacher, therapist, spiritual seeker, traveler,
and spiritual guide. I have been very graced to sit with hundreds of
others who are navigating spiritual awakening, and to have met the optimal
teacher for me, one who could disarm me into realizing the simplicity
of an awakened life.
I believe each of us at some point in our life has an opportunity to
transcend the boundaries of personal conditioning and see the truth
that rests before and behind this conditioning. I want to support this
in the world, because it is the way I see that suffering can be ended,
both personally and collectively. I was fortunate to edit two books
for Adya, “Emptiness Dancing”, and a new book to be released
this year on the passage from awakening to liberation. These collections
of talks and dialogues reflect deeply how I have come to see the world,
and the Truth of the passage available to all who are seeking Self knowledge.
I welcome you to peruse this website, and the links I have added, check
out the kundaliniguide.com website, attend programs I offer, or contact
me with questions related to your awakening process. Most of the zen-satsang
programs I offer are two-hour satsang sessions, or day-long meditations
and satsangs, and these are usually held in Santa Cruz, CA and Ashland,
OR. Satsang as I do it usually includes a guided meditation, a spiritual
talk, and questions and answers with students. I am also available for
dokusan (spiritual guidance) by phone or e-mail, on a donation basis.
Dokusan is generally a brief conversation, focused on a specific question
related to your spiritual practice or understanding.
Namaste,
Bonnie Greenwell
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